so near yet so far.

It been long time we didn't meet each other,
Didn't call each other, didn't message each other...
Say it real, i not longer clear that what actually we are...
Nor couple, friend, or stranger..

Don't ask me why or say i had change too much then before...
Who made this, who should we blame of?
Neither one..

Some time i just relies what you tell was just a lie..
Every time you tell a sorry i cried..
I am not strong then my emotion..
After i start work i tried to let it all down..
I know i shouldn't but i tried..
Why?

Some time when i need a people to care where are you?
Some time when i need a hug where are you?
You were a guy who tell me you're mine..
But after all i just ask my self...am i ?
I can't even answer a single question...

What i done..i stop it all..
Stop to call stop to appear..
I don't know how you can made it..
When appear in-front me we like a couple..
But at the back...who we are for each other?
Did you ever miss me?
Did you ever care?

You always tell me that every thing you done is for our future..
But actually what you have left for me?
A lie? An empty promise?
I saw your spirit of work..
I knew what you had plan..
But i just can't even confirm who are you to me..

You can just disappear as you like..
Then tell me you miss me suddenly..
Broke every thing you said to me like nothing..
Every my friend tell me we ain't couple..
You don't even know what you really want.

I smiled then i cried..
I act like nothing have effect me..
I act like every thing i am busy..
I act like i already don't have any relation with you..
I act like i actually a single and open-mind lady.

I just let you know what i happy about..
Hide all my mind my word..
Tell you i am happy when you not with me don't worry..
Our distance just Rm1.40 or 10 minute road..
But Our heart seem like goes far then that...

I don't really know what i mean to you...
A girlfriend? a toy? a  little girl? a stranger?
Or nothing that i am..

Don't call me after you see this..
If you really mean it..
Think...do you really love me?
Or you just actually don't know anything..
Just because i said i love you then you accept with start fresh feeling..
If you really miss me why don't you come to see me..
I just always stay in the same place..i ain't going any way...

I really scare...I scare i will ask who are you in future..
I scare even if we really go to far forever..
I will suicide 1 day because i feel my heart is empty..
I scare every thing that i need, you never mean to it..

Did You Ever Tell Anyone That I am Your Girlfriend?
I don't know, and don't even want to know..
I drunk I cried, I scream...
No one know for it..
Because i ain't anything, i am just a looser..

7 month...
Time that we together just 1/4 of it...
I always question my self..
Am i actually in relation with someone?
I don't know...

Should i vanish every of it...my tear..